Welcome to Enlightened Nonsense!
Brandon J. Carr introduces Enlightened Nonsense, his weekly illustrated humor column about finding joy and silliness in everyday life.
I hope you enjoy this bit of nonsense. If you do, please sign up as a free member to receive future columns via email. If you really did, sign up for one of the paid tiers to get a whole lot of extra fun!
There is a vast and gaping hole in this world that was once filled with the most important parts of the human experience. Silliness. Joy. Repetition. Silliness. I’m not sure when this pit first appeared, but it has been growing at a slow pace, shovelful by shovelful. We’ve all had a part to play in its excavation, whether it be through unkindness to some, indifference to others, or the ultimate crime of all: growing up. Yuck. No thank you.
Some people have fallen into the chasm of joylessness completely, submerged in the nothing. Some have dipped a toe. Some have just stood next to it, enticed by how easy it would be to just leap on in, letting the numbness be in control.
But!
Among the masses there still exist those who fight the pit with everything they have. A silly walk here, a goofy voice there, a long-winded column about being nearly eaten alive by tiny birds. These are the joyfinders. And these is me, Brandon J. Carr. Well, I’m not all of them. I’m some of them. One of them, technically. The best one? Probably.
“Who are you?!” you’re likely asking, unless you’re my mom (hi, Mom!). I am a storyteller, a taler of tales, a cultivar of crayons, a marmoset of melody, a stovepipe of silly. Not only do I find the light and the joke in everything that comes across my short attention span, it’s actually wait did you know that sedimentary rocks are the most common type of no no wait, I was making a point. I find humor in everything to the point that I spend most of my energy not making jokes or noises or liquids or a fool of myself. It’s exhausting, folks. Truly. But the vast and gaping hole that steals fun demands that we be a certain way and unfortunately the grown-ups and tax collectors and stuffed shirts run the world.
So what can I, a simple gigglesmith, do in this world to combat the woeful pit? I can fight back. I can create something that will allow me to put silliness and fun and joy back into the world every week through writing, art, and the instrument of my mouth. And while trying to create an antidote to deep, resistant apathy in such a way is tantamount to tossing a ham sandwich into the Grand Canyon to try and fill it, maybe there’s someone at the bottom of the Grand Canyon that would really appreciate a ham sandwich right about now. And also someone should probably go check on them and make sure they wound up down there on purpose.
This is Enlightened Nonsense, a weekly written, illustrated, and audiofied column about topics ranging from reviews of cool rocks to attempted op-ed pieces about standard dislikes to trying foods my children choose for me. My goal is to create an online version of a classic newspaper column. Not to be confused, of course, with a column of newspapers, which is the leading cause of death among hoarders. Like a true humor column, I have no set path or agenda. I don’t want to talk about politics or sad things. I’m not interested in creating anything close to what might be considered a “think piece”. I’m primarily doing this to give myself a multi-faceted creative outlet and brighten your day, if for a moment. If it were two moments, even better. Half a day of moments? My goodness, you are easily pleased, aren't you? A whole day?! Now you’re just being greedy!
Please sign up to get the column emailed to you weekly. The email will include the column, the illustration or illustrations, and a link to the audio version. Yes, that’s right. You can put this column right into your ears. If it’s easier, you can also use the RSS feed to access the audio version through your favorite podcast app. And all the basic stuff is completely free, which is a real bargain!
Another real bargain is a monthly $5 tier called More Enlightened Nonsense that includes behind-the-scenes info including insight into the illustration process, a monthly chance to win some original art, and a place in the Enlightened Hall of Nonsense. Then, because the internet is a scary and sketchy place, if you join the monthly $10 Even More Enlightened Nonsense tier, you will receive a little drawing from me on paper in the mail every month you’re subscribed. There is still plenty of wonder to behold if you pay nothing at all, but there’s extra wonderful wonder in the paid tiers. Totally up to you. I get it.
So let’s do this. Let’s have fun and be silly and really grab on to some joy and refuse to let go. Because while not every column will be your favorite one ever, it might be somebody’s. And your favorite one might be right around the corner. It’s worth sticking around to find out because there are many many worse things you could be reading than something goofy and dumb and light-hearted. Join me, won’t you?
And if you’re at the bottom of the Grand Canyon and find a ham sandwich? Dibs times infinity.
